Next Wednesday will mark two months of Luke and I being engaged and I cannot believe how quickly time goes by. In 7 and half short months, we will be getting married. Over the past two months I have learned a thing or two about being engaged so I thought I would share.
1.I don’t need to defend or explain our decision:
I can’t even begin to count the times I have been told I am too young to get married or been given shocked eyebrows when they hear my age and see my ring. Two short months ago, anytime someone would say something about how young we were or give any sort of surprised look, I felt as though I needed to explain that we have been together for a while, lived together, or that we both have full time jobs, or some other reason that would show our age is irrelevant. I have come to realize that the people that say those types of things or ask those questions or give that reaction either really don’t Luke and I or are projecting their own experiences with love and relationships onto our experience and decisions. So at the end of the day, every one else’s opinion is totally irrelevant. I don’t owe anybody anything, but I will make sure to send them a postcard 50 years from now when Luke and I are sitting on our porch still married.
2.Wedding planning isn’t what it is cracked up to be:
In the world of Pinterest, wedding planning looks like a piece of cake. It’s full of beautiful flowers and princesses (literally) and a majority of girls dream and fantasize about their wedding day. I was definitely the girl who had a wedding pinterest board way before Luke and I were engaged, but during that time, it was all just a dream. It was fun to look and plan and find new ideas, without ever having to put in any hard work or hard earned money (a lot more of the latter). Now that I am actually writing out checks, emailing/calling companies and vendors, and buying décor, I realized that wedding planning is tough work. While I know that there are people out there with no budgets on their weddings, I am definitely not one of those people and am not trying to break the bank. I am trying to cut corners and save anywhere possible, while still making my wedding beautiful and fun. And let me be honest, it’s pretty freaking tough. While weddings may be about love, the wedding industry is about loving to take your money. A vast majority of stuff is SO overpriced, and all because they are doing it for a wedding.
Aside from the actual expense of having a wedding, there is so much stuff out there telling people things they MUST have at their wedding, wedding etiquette to follow, traditions, and pinterest just sets the bar way too high for your average wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely am still trying to have a pinterest worthy wedding on my tight budget, but all in all, wedding planning is not what I thought it would be once I really dove in. It is still really exciting to be planning such a big day in our lives and I am so GRATEFUL and HAPPY to be able to have a wedding, but planning it can be very stressful, overwhelming, and a tad bit heart breaking.
3. Life doesn’t end at the wedding
As I said before, I am still so excited and grateful for our wedding. However, I am even more excited for what comes after. This is going to sound so cheesy and corny, but I am truly most excited to become a wife, and not just any wife, but LUKE’S WIFE (ahhh I love it). There are so many articles out there talking about how girls are only excited to get engaged because of the ring or the fact that they get to have a wedding. So what if we are excited about those things? We SHOULD be excited about those things. It’s monumental and life changing. But just because I am excited to be engaged or stoked to be having a wedding, doesn’t mean that I’m not ready for marriage. There are so many exciting things that are SO MUCH better than the actual wedding. Like getting to be Luke’s wife, getting to share the same last name, buying a house, starting a family with little baby parrott’s (haha), but most importantly, showing my family, friends, and Luke that no matter what, I am sticking out the rest of my days with Luke by my side.
Which brings me to my next point. There are also a lot of articles/ people out there that claim that “you’re too young! You need to get out and see the world! Explore, Travel, make Memories, have new experiences!”. OH MY GOSH, I must have been completely oblivious to the national law that says you can’t travel outside the United States once you have a spouse. Or the one that says you can’t go out and have fun when you’re married. I must have missed that one. I think what people are really saying is (and this is actually what someone said to me today) you need to date more people, you need to experiment more. And what I say to that is this: I don’t need to date or sleep with 27 people to figure out who my husband is going to be. BYE There is no such thing as soul mates. I have read so many awesome Christian based articles on this point and couldn’t agree with it more. But while Luke may not be my “soul mate” in the normal meaning of the word, but he is my soul mate because we choose to be each others soul mates. He’s the one I choose to do life with, no matter how tough things get. We fight, we are going to disagree, he’s going to push my buttons and I’m going to push his. Marriage and relationships aren’t a Disney fairytale, but they are still a beautiful and complicated mess that I can’t wait to dive into WITH Luke, FOREVER.
4.The wedding isn’t only about us.
While it is about us, it’s also about our parents. And our grandparents. And our siblings. And the bridesmaids. And the groomsmen. And our Aunts and Uncles. And our cousins. And our best friends. The most important thing to me is that on our wedding day, everyone that we love and care about has the opportunity to share that day with us. That we can give them one awesome night to not only celebrate this new step in our lives, but also thank them for the tremendous amount of love and support we receive from all of them on a daily basis.
5. Us Brides/Wives are really lucky
I can’t speak for every guy out there, but think about it. Men don’t propose because they are excited to wedding plan or because they can’t wait to get a pretty ring. They do it because they are ready to make the biggest commitment of their lives. While I am sure there are some guys out there that are stoked on wedding planning (Luke is not one of them), most men don’t grow up their whole lives planning their wedding day, nor do they spend every Friday in front of the TV watching TLC’s Friday Bride Day. If they didn’t love us or weren’t ready to make us their wife, why else would they go through all the wedding questions and bridezilla moments? They freaking love us and want to be married. How lucky are we?
All in all, I truly am still young and have a lot to learn in life and in love. But thankfully and luckily, I get to learn and grow with my best friend by my side.